Friday, September 14, 2012

Wonder if Jesus likes Cowboy Boots?

     On September 14, 2005 my life was changed forever.  It was on this day that I would give birth to my second child and first  born son.  I remember very clearly the ride to the hospital, quite early in the morning and the feeling of anxiousness and excitement at the event that was about to take place.  I couldn't even imagine what a Dasher BOY would look like.  Little did I know that I would later have lots of practice in BOY arena.
     As any mother knows there are no words to describe the fear that grips your very soul when it becomes obvious that something is not quite right in the delivery room.  Everyone walks around you acting as if you are a fragile piece of china unable to cope with the events that were about to take place.    The smiles turn to solemn faces, the excitement turns to fear, and your world that seemed perfect only moments before is now a blur of "what if's" and "please not my child."

He was so tiny...Fit in the palm of our hands
       Max's heart rate began dropping at a rapidly and I was told that I had one chance to push him out or they would have to perform an immediate c-section.  It's amazing the amount of strength a mother is able to stir up in the midst of a storm involving the well being of her child.  That child that she nurtured and cared for for nine months before ever seeing his face.  The child that she had already had visions of seeing all covered in mud and loving football.  The child that would surely steal her heart, her first born son.  So with every amount of strength I had I was able to have Max naturally.  However, his entry into this world was not quite how I had imagined.  There were no cries, there were no gurgles, there was no smiling doctor happily placing this bundle of joy in my arms.  Instead there was silence.  Silence from the doctor, silence from the nurses, silence from my mother and father who were excited to experience there very first birth of a grandchild (first ever for my Dad), silence from my husband, and the worst fear of all silence from this tiny being that had just been introduced to the world.
where his love for music began
      I watched numbly as they began beating the back of my baby rapidly, I watched numbly as the NICU nurses came rushing in, very quickly moving about, and then in an instant  Max was gone from the room.  I cannot begin to describe the feelings that were going through my mind, but the worst feeling of all was that no one was comforting me, no one was telling me it was going to be ok, everyone was motionless.  I felt like I was going to scream, like I wanted to jump out of the bed and find someone to talk to me, someone to tell me it was going to be ok.
Every little boy needs a little dirt on their hands!!
       It was very soon after that moment that I remember feeling the largest hands in the world wrapped around me, I remember a peace rush through my soul like a glass of cold lemonade on a hot Louisiana summer day.  The presence of God was so strong and the whispers of the spirit were so clear that I knew in that moment that everything would be fine.  I knew in that moment that God was in total control, I knew and still know today that this first born son was designed intricately, created purposefully, and knitted so uniquely before he was ever thought of or imagined in my mind.

or a car!!  Preferably Lightning McQueen!
        Max had managed to tie his umbilical cord in a knot which caused his oxygen to be constricted with every contraction.  After spending a week in the NICU we were able to take him home as if those frightening few moments in that delivery room never happened.  I could not have imagined in that moment the amount of tears I would cry over this boy, the even greater number of laughs, and most importantly the way I would be encouraged by such a small child in so many ways.  Today he is only 7 years old and I know that we have a long way to go on this path of life if it is the Lord's will, but I am so very grateful for the little boy that he is right this moment.  I tell him everyday as I do all of my children that they will do mighty things for the Lord to bring Him glory.  I believe that with all of my heart, but I also tell them that they can do mighty things for the Lord today, with every choice they make, every action, every kind word, every act of service.

Loving Music Today
        Of all the dreams I have had for my children at different times in my life, some even before they were born, the one that surpasses them all is that they will be SALT TO THE EARTH.  That they will be a LIGHT IN A DARK WORLD.  And that they will LOVE THE UNLOVABLE, FRIEND THE UNFRIENDABLE, and be like JESUS IN A PAIR OF COWBOY BOOTS.    

Happy Birthday Max!!

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for sharing this Jill. Happy Birthday Max! And yes... not only does Jesus "like" cowboy boots, I wouldn't be surprised if he's wearing a pair when he comes riding on that big ole white horse to get us on that GREAT day!
    Love ya'll! Starla Bunn


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