Friday, June 22, 2012

My Kind of Perfect

11 years ago today I was a little girl, barely 20 years old and about to make the second biggest decision of my life.  I'm not sure, no I am positive,  that I did not fully understand the magnitude of what this decision meant.  What I did know, however, is that I so dearly loved this man; he made me giddy, he made me smile, I wanted to wake up to him every morning, and knew that I would never grow tired of his face.  Surely these kind of feelings would last forever, right?  Since the day I was born I had dreamed of my wedding day believing that my life would be complete when I became a wife and mother.  It should come as no surprise that my two favorite movies are Father of the Bride and Steel Magnolia's.  I wanted it all, the big church, the BIG dress, my knight in shining armor, and of coarse the hideous brides maid dresses (I really didn't think they were hideous at the time, PROMISE friends, but sorry anyway to those of you who had to partake in that lovely array of pastel and satin:-) 

So on June 23, 2001 at 6:00PM I became Jil Galloway Dasher.  I will tell you that our marriage ceremony did not happen quite like I had envisioned in my mind and there were times, like when he forgot my wedding ring, causing the audience to gasp a little and my Dad leaning back in surprise only to knock over the burning candelabra which was thankfully caught by my pregnant cousin, that I wondered if this was not some sort of sign...CAUTION AHEAD....CAUTION AHEAD...DO NOT PROCEED.  Turns out, I'm pretty sure it was a sign.  One telling me that my life from this point on would never be dull and dull it has not been.  

Let me be honest for a bit, hopefully this is not a shock for you, but our first year of marriage, or the first two or three was not exactly what I had in mind either boys and girls.  I was barely 20, "baby of the family," he was 23 "middle child" and needless to say we BOTH had a little growing up to do.  To leave out some of my favorite, how should I say this, intense moments, would be to inaccurately describe the depth of my love for this man I married.  For this reason, I must include a couple.  I could not have been more excited on our first grocery shopping trip as husband and wife.  I was envisioning all the great snacks we would get to eat as we cuddled on the couch and all the wonderful meals that I planned on cooking since now I was sure to be a Bettie Crocker in the kitchen, but all of these visions were crushed when it seemed that everything I was putting into the buggy was being put back.  Apparently he had come to get necessities and "name brand" was not a necessity I soon found out.  I was trying real hard to be patient and understanding, following all the rules of a submissive wife, but when he put my "Charmin Ultra Soft" toilet paper back on the shelf that was it!! No one likes to wipe with tissue paper thin toilet paper, you might as well use a corncob!!!  That being said I had had enough and proceeded to trot myself, pony tail swinging, out of that store.  The only problem was he had the keys, so there I sat outside Walmart in the Memphis heat, enjoying my own little pity party.  Turns out we went home empty handed that afternoon, only to return approximately 3 hours later after I decided I was tired of pouting.  I did, however, get that "Charmin Ultra Soft" toilet paper.  

Another classic, ohhh I laugh every time I think of this one, because I categorize this one as mostly his fault.  It's funny when I think back on some of our "best moments" I can hardly ever remember what caused them to begin with.  That being the case in this scenario.  For some reason I was angry enough that I had decided the best place for me to be was locked in our bedroom, having a moment to myself, after all there was no running to Mom or Dad, because they lived 10 hours away.  Well, Zach did not, however, agree with my decision and was determined for me to open the door.  These were not the type of doors that you could just stick a bobby pin in and unlock, these were tried and true old fashioned, "your locked out sucker" kind of doors.  I know this is really bad, like I should probably never admit this, but I was having an "I'll show him" moment and rather enjoying it.  Well that enjoyment lasted until he proceeded to knock the door down.  I will say that he did warn me, but I mean really what was he going to do, "knock the door down or something," yep.  This, my friends, is not the funny part of the story.  The funniest part of this story happened the next day, or 3 days, when he decided he better fix the door.  Let me start by saying that I married a man with unbelievable talents!  He has a voice that is so amazing, one of the reasons I fell in love with him no doubt.  The countless number of times that he serenaded me with Tim McGraw's "It's Your Love" on the seats of his 1980's something pale yellow hooptie stole my heart.  Not to mention his intellectual capacity that has always intrigued me or the fact that he is a man of integrity with a heart for the Lord, but bless his heart and it kills me to say he is NO handy man.  That being said, Day 1, 1st door purchased had the door knob located on the wrong side.  Day 2, door #2 was too tall.  No big deal, he thought, I'll cut it down.  Yeah, he cut it down, like I mean were talking a foot too short.  Day 3, door #3 fit like a charm.  Lets just say this...I have never locked myself in a room since and he has never knocked down another door.  Glad we got that one worked out so early on in the marriage.  

The first paragraph of this blog I described those intense feelings and emotions that took place every time I was around Zach.  Feelings that I was so sure would last me a lifetime.  What I didn't realize at the ripe young age of 20 was that the feelings and emotions I was experiencing were nothing compared to those that I now have 11 years later.  No, I no longer get giddy when he walks in a room, unless I am about to tell him that we are going to have another baby.  And no I don't rush to sit at his feet every time he breaks into song, like I once did, otherwise I would get nothing done.  The love we share now is a love that is so much deeper than a feeling.  It's the love of having someone stand beside you that has seen you at your worst and loves you anyway.  The love of the hands that have held your hair back through each and every pregnancy as you are so gracefully hunched over the toilet.  The love of those same hands that have held your hand as each one of your four children have entered the world (minus #4 because due to natural labor and NO pain medication I wasn't holding anyones hand, in fact I just remember shouting the words "get fixed" if you know what I mean.)  The love of the man that prays over your children and calls you in the middle of the day to tell you that he has been praying for you.  The love that allows me to lay down in his lap and just ever so slightly nudge my head and he immediately begins to play with my hair.    The love that knows exactly how he likes his coffee and that it means so much for me to have it waiting for him.  The love that has a certain look that can speak volumes when your in a crowded room.  The love that gets so mad, but then breaks into a laugh, because in the end it's always gonna be me and you:-)  The love that I plan on enjoying until the good Lord calls me home and I just know I will be holding his hand.

To Zach, 11 years ago I vowed to love, honor, and cherish you for the rest of my life.  Without doubt the second best decision of my life, next to fully and completely giving my life to God on Nov. 19, 1999.  Our marriage is not perfect, will never be, but it is my kind of perfect; to have and to hold till death do us part.  I just know we will be holding hands.
Happy Anniversary!!!  

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  1. Congratulations Zach & Jil on not just surviving 11 years of marriage but thriving in your marriage! May you be blessed with many more! :)
    And I dont think I knew that Zach had a connection with Shane Ware! I know his whole family & was "in love" w him most of my teenage years! :)ha!

    Randi Perkins

  2. Oh Jil! What a beautifully written and well expressed post. My goodness, I can so relate to the ups-n-downs of marriage (can't we all??). Yes, feelings that we once had are gone, but have been replaced by a more lasting, meaningful love and appreciation. So enjoyed reading your blog - you're a great writer!! Keep em' comin' girl! :-)
    ps, Chad's never knocked a door down, but has had to re-sheet rock a wall after placing his fist through a wall. I have to admit I found a little pleasure in watching him have to repair, I'm not a saint. ;-)

    1. HaHa:-) Thank you Lindsey! I hope you and your sweet family are doing well!


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